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Mistakes Everyone Makes

Let me start by saying this: I have made all of these mistakes at various points in my career. Even now, I have times when something goes wrong in a training session and upon closer examination, I will spot one of these mistakes.

There’s no such thing as a perfect training or behavior modification session. I’ve been to lectures by some of the world’s best animal trainers and they have shown videos of themselves training a dog, beluga whale, or walrus and pointed out their training errors. We all make mistakes.

The difference between a good behavior modification program and a bad one is the ability to spot these mistakes and correct ourselves, rather than correcting the dog.


Are you afraid of spiders? Me too. But I’m not running around and screaming because of the freakishly large spiders in South America. Why? Because they’re too far away to present a threat to me.

Distance affects reactivity. The closer you get to something you fear, the greater your level of stress. Once the stress reaches a certain level, the brain tells us to react in some way that increases our chance of survival, which can include avoidance…or aggression. The other thing the brain tells us is to stop wasting energy on non-essential functions in that moment. Like eating. Or thinking.

If your dog is exhibiting any type of avoidance or aggression in the presence of a dog, person, or other trigger, you are too close (early warning sign – your normally polite dog starts painfully ripping the treats from your hand). Anything you attempt at this level is only going to amount to temporary suppression of behavior, which is not the same as changing the underlying emotion behind the behavior.

Behavior modification happens at a distance the dog is aware of the trigger but not showing any negative reaction, often referred to as under-threshold. If your dog reacts, MOVE. Get her out of the situation and to a distance that she can give you a behavior you can reward.


So, you don’t like clickers because they seem gimmicky, and you don’t want to say “Yes!” because it sounds silly. Frankly, I don’t care what sound you use, but if you’re going to be effective, you MUST have great timing. You will never have great timing with just the treat in your pocket.

The point of a clicker (or “yes!” or a click of your tongue, or whatever) is that you have a unique sound that marks the moment of your dog’s brilliance. That sound has been consistently paired with rewards so that the moment your dog hears it, the reward centers of the brain start churning out dopamine, which feels good. So, even if you are caught digging around in the pocket of your jeans for the treat, you’ve still captured the behavior the instant it happened, increasing the chance that your dog will do it again next time.

Why not just use “good dog/boy/girl?” Well, because it’s slower but, more importantly, you probably don’t give your dog a food reward after saying it, so it doesn’t have the association needed to have that feel good effect. Worse, if you say “Good boy” before patting your dog on the head, which he hates, you could be using a marker that has a bad association.

Things can happen quickly with a reactive dog and if you don’t instantly capture that brilliant moment your dog looks at you the moment he spots a new dog, you’re going to end up rewarding the wrong thing.


People don’t hire me because they want to teach their dog to walk at a certain speed in a specific position at their side and look up at them when another dog passes by. They hire me because they want their dog to stop lunging and barking at other dogs on walks.

And yet, this is where the vast majority of dog owners fail in their dog’s early training – they don’t reward the dog for NOT doing bad behavior to begin with. I see so many dog owners out walking their dogs, completely oblivious to the fact that their dog is looking up at them, seeking some form of feedback. If I had just 2% more Crazy Dog Lady in me, I would roll down my window and shout, “REWARD THAT, for Pete’s sake!!!”

What does all this have to do with being stingy? Well, if you’re only looking for perfect behavior, you’re missing opportunities to reward less-than-perfect-but-still-better-than-aggressive behaviors your dog might be displaying. I try to teach dog owners to look for two things:

  • Behaviors which are incompatible with the unwanted behavior (differential reinforcement of incompatible behavior – DRI). For example, looking at you is incompatible with biting a passerby. Your dog can’t do both at the same time.

  • Behaviors which are different than the unwanted behavior (differential reinforcement of other behavior - DRO). An example would be looking at another dog without barking. While your dog could bark, he’s not doing so in that moment.

Now, technically, your dog biting YOU in the leg would be incompatible with biting a passerby in the leg. That’s why an important part of behavior modification is teaching the dog a variety of behaviors we like BEFORE we head out in search of strange dogs or people.

The higher the rate of reward, the faster your dog will start to form a pleasant association to the presence of strange dogs or people. Stingy rewards result in stingy behaviors.


Your dog is doing really well watching kids in the playground across the street, giving you all sorts of good behaviors you can reward. You’ve decided to invite your neighbor and her three dog-loving children to your 800 square foot house for a play date to see how he does.

STOP! Dogs DO NOT need contact with the thing they fear in order for it to be a positive experience. Dogs DO NOT need contact for socialization to occur. Think of your favorite coworker. Do they hug you a lot? Snuggle up to you during meetings? Of course not! Positive associations can be formed without any physical contact at all.

Fifteen years ago, having a stranger feed your fearful dog was considered a good, positive approach to desensitization. If a dog isn’t ready to approach a person on their own, the treat is only going to mask the fear. Once the treat is gone, the dog is now much closer to the person than they are comfortable with. Depending on the dog, they may decide the best way to get distance is to use aggressive behavior. Believe me. I have the torn clothing to prove it.

A far better approach is to start with the fearful dog at a distance from the stranger (and contact prevented by a leash or other management tool), with the owner dispensing all the treat rewards, just as we you do with a dog that was reactive to strange dogs on walks. This way, the dog is exposed to the new person, but at a distance that is safe for both dog and people.


Three seconds. That’s the maximum amount of time I permit a dog to interact with a new dog or new person before calling them away. “1 – 2 – 3 - Rex, come!”

That’s because three seconds seems to be just about right for a dog that is uncertain when interacting, but it’s also not enough time for a person or dog to behave in a way that could trigger a reaction in the dog. A first meeting might consist of a dozen 3-second encounters, or it might consist of two. It all depends on the dog I’m working with and the person or dog at the other end of the meeting.

First meetings are important, especially in behavior modification. When things are going well, it can be tempting to keep going and “see how he does,” which is how many bites and fights start. Better the first meeting be a positive 3-second experience than end up in a dog fight.


You have permission to be rude. To turn your back on a perfectly nice person and walk away without a word. Why? Because every second you spend trying to explain to a well-meaning dog lover why your dog

doesn’t like their dog or doesn’t want to be pet allows that person to get closer and closer.

It is better to be rude and be forgotten by a stranger person 5 minutes later, than be paying their dog’s vet bills or explaining to animal control why your dog bit a person who “just wanted to say hi.”

Fine. You can’t be rude? Here’s one approach I teach clients which allows you to give your polite explanation, but gives your dog the distance he needs to feel safe. It also turns the sharp, pointy end toward you, just in case.

HOWEVER, this is not about being clever when telling people to leave you alone. This is about MOVING THE DOG, not your lips. So, be sure you spend more time on the movement and less on the witty comeback.

While I find ideas like the Yellow Dog Project admirable, we're still trying to teach people not to leave their dogs in the car on hot summer days while they shop at the mall. In the meantime, you're still stuck with trying to explain to someone what the ribbon means. Better to give your explanations over your shoulder or not at all.


I could probably expand this list even further, but these are the most common mistakes I see, especially by those who say positive reinforcement didn’t work on their dog. When applied too late, too close, for too long, of course the effectiveness is going to be low.

My hope is that this article will help you learn to recognize the common mistakes we all make – not to beat you up for them, but so that you can recognize them when they happen and make the adjustments necessary for your dog's success.


I can help you spot and fix mistakes you might be making. I offer remote consultations for training and behavior help.

Serenity Canine Behavior Ⓒ2022 Lisa Mullinax. All rights reserved.

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